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That wacky, zany, way out, 'oh what an atmosphere' guy
Russ Abbot is now a member of that innumerable band
of television personalities who have metamorphosed into
the binary medium. And who has he got to thank? Probe
Software, that's who. The game revolves around Russ
Abbot's wacky, zany character Basildon Bond from the
Russ Abbot Madhouse. Poor old wacky Basildon has to
recover a set of zany secret codes. His boss 'P' (re-named
'B' to confuse the KGP (Ha! Ha! I think I'm going to
wet myself)) has given Basildon his orders and the codes
must retrieved within five hours or . . . Well the scenario
doesn't really detail 'or'. To aid you on your quest,
both the wacky, zany Cooperman and the wacky, and even
more zany, Blunderwoman are present.
To
unlock the codes, Basildon must piece together some
of the worst and oldest jokes in the business. These
are hidden in various rooms within a television studio
and once a complete joke is pieced together, it must
be logged into the main computer. It's not that easy
though -- where would the zany fun be if it was? To
use certain objects, for example the computer, certain
other artifacts must be found first.
As
you've most probably guessed, this is an arcade adventure.
As in any good aardvark, there are baddies out to get
you. The baddies after Basildon are just as wacky and
zany as he is -- they're TV cameras. If one bumps into
the super secret agent, then a big slice of time is
lost from the countdown.
There
are two sections to the main viewing screen: a top window
showing Basildon's current position and a lower status
screen detailing any objects carried. Only one object
con be carried at a time, making the overall solution
very complex indeed. To travel between different screens,
Basildon must be guided through one of the doors in
view. The next room then flicks onto the screen.
Basildon
is quite a versatile chap and takes his orders from
the joystick, should it be connected. Left and right,
predictably enough, move him left and right. To move
up and down the many stairways about the place you have
to use the diagonals. The fire button has a special
function, in that it calls up Cooperman for help. Good
old Cooperman flies from right to left across the screen
and can be moved up or down with the joystick. Any baddies
are instantly converted to a wash of pixels when Cooperman
zooms over them. This allows wacky Bas to progress past
previously unexplored ground, but the trouble is that
upon re-entering the room, the formerly mashed nasty
returns. Cooperman can only be used ten times and one
call out of ten summons up Blunderwoman, who usually
causes more damage than good.
Death
is dealt out when Cooperman's time is up, though it
will take rather a lot of doing with the five hours
supplied.
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If
Basildon is looking for the oldest and worst jokes
in the industry why doesn't he just take a quick
scan through his script. I'm sorry, but even taking
Basildon
Bond
as a simple arcade adventure, it compares very
badly with the competition. The graphics are so
old-fashioned looking it's ridiculous. Soundwise
things aren't very much better than on the graphics
front -- a grating tune with even more irritating
sound effects. Why the industry can't face up
to the fact that programs based on licensed characters
can't and don't work, I don't know.
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Presentation 45%
Quite unexceptional really, nothing of note, good
or bad.
Graphics
38%
Sprites made from Lego seem to
be the order of the day.
Sound
39%
Nothing noticably outstanding at
all.
Hookability
43%
Unless you live, breath and eat
arcade adventures, and they are your only joy
in life, you won't be very hooked . . .
Lastability
42%
. . . or even too fussed
about playing it for any amount of time.
Value
For Money 37%
A below average game for an above
average price.
Overall
43%
Not the best arcade adventure in
the world, but certainly not the worst.
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